I will be Still

The Beat of my Heart...

When life feels busy and all that surrounds me is noise, those times that i cannot hear; I will be still and silent to hear the gentle whispers of your voice. When Hope feels like something of the past; I will be still and remember that you are the hope of the world, the hope of me and are never changing but remain the same forever. When it feels like you are far away, I will be still and remember that although you are beyond the stars, you are also closer then breath. When i find myself stuck in a Valley, rather then fear; I will be still and remember that in the valley i see your strength, in the valley you play my rescuer, in the valley you are my light. When the world tells me that i am ugly, I will be still and silent and remember when you whispered that i am made in your image and that i am Beautiful just as you created me. When the world reminds me of the father that chose to leave, i will remind the world of the father that stays with outstretched arms, an embrace of love and mercy forever, When illness invades my body, i will declare with faith that you are my healer. When the past surfaces in the present; i will stand firm and remember that you broke the chains, your broke the bondages and you replaced the nightmares with new dreams. When i forget the dreams that you placed deep within my heart; i will be still and remember that your a god of the unlimited and in you all thing are possible. When my heart ache's and it feels like the journey is over, i will be still and remember that your heart ache's with mine and with you the journey is never ending! When i feel that i'v been left behind, i will be still and remember that you arn't infront of me, nor are you behind; but you are by my side living things through with me. When tears stream down my face, I will be still and remember when you said that those who sow with tears will reap with joy. When there are times that I feel weak and need you more then ever; I will be a fighter and rise up and pray with power. When the wind blows; i will be still and remember that you are like the wind... although i cant see or touch you i can feel you. Through the noise of the world, I will be still and remember that in the quiet you will fill my heart with joy and with a new song. I will always remember that my life is a symphony of praise to you my king, my creator, my healer, my strength... MY FATHER.

-Betty-Rose Utz.

x

Hillsong Conference 2008

I've sat here for a while now, trying to put into words how my hillsong week changed me. It wasn't until 10 minutes ago that i realised the experience is simply indescribable. To see so many people worship, so many people hungry, so many people passionate... its impossible to come home the same way you left. Standing amongst the 20,000 people it was an encouraging realisation to know that in this fight for our nations, for our cities and states i am not alone but that we are all in this together, unified for one cause.. love

As most of my friends know, over the last 12 months God has started to really open my eyes about injustice in the world. YES iv always known its there, iv always seen the bill boards and the tv commercials that bring it to our attention.. but for along time i turned my eyes from it. NOW however my eyes are turned to it and there is no way that after what i have heard can i ever remain the same or even think about dismising it. Joul Houston spoke at Hillsong briefly and you know what? I dont think iv ever seen someone speak from the stage with so much heart and raw passion. Looking around the arena every person was so attentive. Thinking back about this, my conclusion is that it was because he was speaking so passionately about something that we CAN if we choose to CHANGE. There were looks all over the place of people being inspired, tears rolling down cheeks of people whos hearts were breaking for the poor, for the needy, for the lost. You could see determination arise in the hearts and minds of everyone as they heard how much our world needs our god and how much our world needs his love.

LOVE its such a funny word, a word used in many different ways, in many different situations... a word that for so many holds so much importance and value, so many great memories. The sad fact is that it isnt everyone... for some its something they have not yet ever encountered or heard, something that they long for, that they are missing and are desperately seeking. Doesnt it move something in you to know that by ONE act of kindness, ONE word of encouragment, ONE moment of thoughtfulness, you can be apart of the solution that gives someone hope or gives someone a reason to smile?

Hillsong week taught me about 3 things that are important to my GOD...
(1)Worship, not only by raising hands and singing him praise... but worship by giving, worship by loving, worship in your every moment in your surrender and your sacrifice. WORSHIP is something so beautiful. I heard someone say once that when we understand the heart behind it and worship with the revelation of that understanding Heaven Smiles. In all of its beauty and splendor already.. can u image in your mind what heaven smiling looks like. How peaceful and angelic, how beautiful and precious. "Worship is the expression of Love" - Mike Pilavachi.

(2) Justice. Isn't it amusing that 2 of the most important human rights are Liberty and the Right to Food. It is a human right to be Free yet there are millions trapped in human trafficking, it is a human right to have the right to food yet half of our world LIVE IN POVERTY. Do you feel blessed right now? Is your heart starting to hurt? Mine is, its crying out to see a change, its crying out to empower a generation that are willing to stand and fight together as one.. no more segregation, no more disunity. Half of our a world, HALF. How have we become so self consumed, how have be become so greedy and heartless. So blind? "God is close to the poor, when we are close to them, God is close to us" - Bono. I dont know about you, but i know that jesus came for everyone, rich, poor, ugly, beautiful, men, women, baby, adult, blonde, brunette, skinny, fat, short, tall, black, white... colour, social status, gender... it doesnt matter. WE ARE EQUAL IN HIS EYES. A rich man is no better then a poor women. A blind man is non less of a person then someone with full sight. Justice comes when unity comes. Unity comes when acceptance of the human race comes, the entire human race. We were created by ONE, we were created in the likness of ONE. Something is stirring, the time is coming.

(3) Grace. "A state of sanctification by God; the state of one who is under such divine influence" - Princeton Universtiy. Until this past week... i got it all wrong. I knew what Grace was, but i didnt understand it, i didnt accpet it for what is truly is. The grace of god is a beautiful thing. Its a gift, its a life changing gift. Without grace we cannot overcome impurity, without grace we can not overcome our weaknesses, we cannot overcome our limitations and faults. It is through his grace that we are made strong, that we can exceed all limitations that our faults can be made right that we can OVERCOME. Grace is something that humankind need. We are sinners saved by Grace, Sinners that without grace have no chance. God is Grace, God is Love, God is Mercy. Grace is needed for salvation. Praise God for his faithfulness and Praise God that he is a God of Grace.
As i mentioned at the start, i cant describe hillsong week. It wasnt what i expected, it changed me, not how i thought it would. It inspired me in areas i didnt expect. It encouraged me where i didnt realise i needed to be encouraged. It lifted me up where i didnt realise i had fallen. It refreshed and renewed my spirit. It healed and restored my hope and my heart.

Let me encourage you, if you dont know jesus. Let him be the one that saves you. The one that holds you when noone knows you need to be held. Let him be the one to wipe your tears in the moments that noone else knows your crying. Allow him to love you when you dont trust anyone else, give him your heart, and your desires when you feel broken and at the end. When all hope is lost, go to him with your thoughts and let him be your healer, your redeemer, your restorer and your love. Rest in his embrace, rest in his arms of wisdom and beauty. Give him all you have. We are here for a moment in time, one chance, one life. Dont let it get away without siezing every bit of it and living everyday of it. He loves you. He loves you. He loves you. His love is unshakable, impossible to lose, impossible to have stolen. Soak in his presence. You are his and he is yours.

x

To Believe One is Beautiful

In recent weeks, through many differing circumstances i have had the time to revise who it is that i am and what it is that i believe. Through many defining moments in the presence of God one such word is continously pressed in my heart. Its a word that to so many people holds a different meaning, it holds a different memory. For some it holds pain; for others it holds vain. For some it brings confidence and for others it brings uncertainty. For some it is about heart and others about appearance.

Beauty. One word, yet so much meaning.Beauty comes as much from the heart as it does from the eye. Sadly in our forever changing world the definition of beauty has degraded to something that is in reference to one's appearance. Previously i said that for some it holds pain. I believe that alot of girls/women have never been told they are beautiful. They have never had someone tell them that regardless of what the world says, their beauty is eternal, their beauty is something noone can take, that only God and noone else is in a position to give. They have never had the moment when they have seen reflecting back at them in a mirror the eternal beauty of their hearts. Inside of every girl are dreams, inside of every girl are desires, are inspiring works,words and actions that radiate and highlight who they are and that enhance the beauty they are each given.

A few years ago, i was one of those girls. Beauty was a word that i dreamed of, a word that bought pain, a word that i knew only having negative connotation's. Beauty is a unique thing, it is the edification of one's heart, one's qualities & one's individuality. Beauty is something God given that should be embraced.

God has really been moulding my heart, and the perception i have of myself. He has challenged me about what beauty means to me and why. Beauty to me is about the inside. Appearance is something that we cant change, its something that we should learn to accept and love. We look the way we do because that's how god intended it. People can say what they wish their thoughts and comments will not change who you are, it will never change who i am, so why care what they say.

Unlike appearance the heart can be changed. What is in your heart can differ everyday, what you believe about yourself can change minute by minute, what you see in the world can change day by day. We are human, we have faults, we have failures, we go through times of victory and sometime experience defeat. We have moments of affliction and go through times of endurance. I believe that it is in these times that our beauty is built.

Beauty is something that comes through life. Beauty is the smile on your face when your in that moment of affliction. Beauty is the words you speak when your in that time of endurance, Beauty is that moment when you decide that regardless of your unsuccess you will indeed succeed. Beauty is when you dare to dream without reason. Beauty is the heart that seeks compassion, beauty is the heart that learns to appreciate the sunrise and the sunset. Beauty is when you know yourself well enough to be you. Beauty is the little girl that lies inside of every heart. Beauty cant be articulated because it is so individal and so beautiful. Beauty is something that inspires. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

If you get one thing out of this. It is that YOU are BEAUTIFUL. I dont know who you are, but i know that you cant go through this life without being told just how beautiful you were made. There is a god in heaven that thinks the world of you. He loves how intricately and uniquely you are created, that's why he did it. He never wanted you to be the second rate version of someone else, he wants you to be the most amazing first rate version of you. Noone else in this world will ever have your DNA, it is yours. You are the one and only. Dont let it be ruined by the superficialty of the world. Dont let it be robbed because of the negative words that someone has spoken. Dont let your beauty hide away, but let it radiate from within. Let you dreams show on the outside. Let your joy show in your smile. Let your tears fall softly. You are Beautiful.

Psalm 45:11" The king is enthralled by your beauty; honor him, for he is your lord."

So Much Love
x

Praising through Pain

Just recently my family in particular my brother has been put through a great deal of pain. His pain is emotional, its on the inside where many cannot see it. His pain is because of love or the absence of a love he once knew, his pain is because of a battle he is fighting for the one he loves the most, the one that gave him a new hope, the one that gave him the title of "daddy".

Sitting at a park watching my brother have tears stream down his face, it became a reality to me that he hurts. He tries to cover it, he tries to deny it but he is hurting. In this time with him i felt the holy spirit start to move on my heart about once again our lost and dying world and the only way i knew to respond was with tears. He and I have our ups and downs, our fights and times of joy but never before have i seen this hurt in his eyes. He doesnt know Jesus but in faith i speak that he will.

See all over the place, all over our city there are hearts... hearts that are broken, hearts that are hard, hearts that are searching and hearts that are bleeding. Yes these are all negative and ofcourse there are the hearts that are happy and rejoicing the hearts that are whole and that are found... My heart is rejoicing, my heart is to how i would put it to some degree found. Found by the one who saves, the one who gives life, the one who grants freedom. My brother's heart is broken, its hard and its searching.

See i realised that in times of Pain i made a decision 4 years ago to Praise, to Praise in the good and Praise in the bad. To Praise on the mountain and to Praise in the valley, regardless of where life took /takes me i committed to Praising nevertheless. Today with my brother opened my eyes to the fact that in the valley he doesnt know yet what it means to praise. He doesnt know the love and comfort of Jesus or the promises that he has spoken.

Right now he is struggling and i feel for him but then my mind wonders and thinks about those that are situations worse, situations that have a higher sense of urgency the situations that come down to life or death. Jesus this morning really imparted something in my heart about Praise and about urgency, about my actions being the difference between someone living or someone dying, someone in eternity or someone in hell. As i write this my eyes well up with tears because the sad reality is that right now half of my family and a lot of my friends fall in the second category. Again with faith i declare that they know the Lord.

This morning i saw raw passion in my brothers expressions, passion about fighting for his daughter, fighting for the little girl that once again gave him a reason to stay, she was a godsend, she helped him realise that in some way he was needed, he was wanted, he was loved. In this same i think that God is fighting. He's fighting for his sons and daughters fighting for the little girls and boys that need a reason to stay, a reason to live, a reason to praise! He is looking for the chance to drop that purpose that plan into hearts all over the world.

Whoever reads this, please be encouraged. Fight and keep fighting. Dont give up when the world tells you its over. Dont stop Praising because a circumstance feels greater then you can handle. If you know God be the soldier that stands in his army and stands firm. Be the soldier that is passionate, that is willing to lay it all down to be obedient to our King. Be a soldier that others can aspire to. Be a soldier that keeps waiting on the Lord!

If you dont know god? Join the army. Come and ask him to be with you, to live with you, to show you to love as he does. To show you what life to the fullest can be. To show you what it means to Praise in the valley and on the mountain. To show you that his love is unfailing and that it is always available. Rest in his embrace please i plead with you. Let him dry your tears and rebirth the nightmares as dreams. His arms never close they just wait open waiting for the day you decide to run to him. He is the greatest love you will ever know, the best friend you will ever have, the most popular dad you could ever dream for, all you have to do is say yes and open your heart and open your arms for him to have the chance to hold you.

I love God. I love what God is doing in me right now and i love what he is doing all over the world, all over australia, all over our city! I love that this is a new day ready for new things, ready for new challenges and opportunities. Dont let it pass you by. Life on earth is short, limited, borrowed time... do the most with it you can, live it to the fullest, treasure it because its so precious! LIVE LIVE LIVE. Dont just exsist! LIVE. please the world needs you and your smile.

Big Love x

To Be a World Changer

Have you ever sat down and truley thought about the point to exsistence, or thought about how much of an opportunity YOU as an individual have to change and transform this world? Iv been so inspired lately to sieze the opportunity we are freely given everyday.

We live to change, live to grow and live to be transformed. See this life is so easy for us, we have a sweet computer with myspace, we have a sweet house with all that is needed for life. Surrounding us everyday are people, people we love, people who care for us, people who in some way make you who you are. We think the world is crashing down when the heel on our shoe breaks, or we run out of milk until the next morning. We complain when a large maccas meal isnt enough or when our Ipod runs out of battery. We think we are so less fortunate when we run out of credit on our phone or were wearing last seasons clothing.

We become and we ARE so wrapped up in what the world offers, what the world accepts, what the world thinks is normal and what the world think we should be and should do.
Just recently God has been moulding my heart into a whole new shape, giving me a totally different heartbeat. The other night i came across a picture on the internet of a young boy in africa... he has nothing, he has people around him... none that are his family though.. they are all dead from starvation. I took one look at this photo and fell to my knees in tears. How is it, that for so long we turn our heads? How is that for so long we choose to be blinded from this? Why is it that we think we have the right to complain about our materialistic crap when there are people out there that have none of it, that have NOTHING.

I have been so challenged over the last 2 weeks about being a world changer, about standing up for what is in my heart, standing up for the things that i believe in and standing up for the God that has granted me freedom, that has made the way for me to live, sacrificed his son for my breath, given me life to live. Everyday we are faced with an opporunity... an opportunity to stand or an opportunity to stay sitting, to fall. The bible says that : We CAN do ALL things through Christ who gives us strength. ALL things, does all things include the ABOLITION OF INJUSTICE? YES IT DOES.

I am so over unjust actions happening everyday all over the world. Not just in poverty, but in detention centers, in family abuse, in child prostitution.. I am so sick of living in mediocrity, im so over a generation that have the lingo, that have the words but dont have the ACTION to back up what they have to say. There is something coming, something big. God is giving our nation a unified heart for a reason... what are you gonna do? Are you gonna sit there and let it pass you by as you expect everyone else to do it? OR are YOU gonna be the one to stand? are YOU gonna be the one that decides to CHANGE YOUR WORLD?

I know this may seem so clear to you, like its a message of the past... but if it was a reality in your world... then why arnt you doing everything you can to change it?

I dunno know about you.. but i dont want what the world offers, i want GOD. I dont want to accept what the world accepts.. i want what GOD accepts. I dont want to be who or what the world thinks is NORMAL, i want to be a women of GOD, a women of SUBSTANCE, a women of FAITH, a women of CHANGE, a women with HEART, a women with VALUES, a women with WORTH, a women that ENCOURAGES, a women that UPLIFTS, a women that isn’t BLINDED to the BROKEN. A women that hears the voice of her GOD over the whispers of MAN. I want to be who GOD thinks i should be, i want to be the women IM CALLED TO BE.

There is a broken world around us. Physical INJUSTICE is crap, but more then that SPIRITUAL INJUSTICE is as important. There are starving people all over this nation, all over this world. They may eat everyday as much as they like, but they are starved of JESUS, they are starved of a HEAVENLY FATHER, starved of A GREATER LOVE.

Seriously, jesus doesnt care about your sweet new Xbox game, he doesnt give a crap about the colour of your shirt right now. He couldnt really care less if you have a $10 pair of jeans or a $300 pair of jeans. he cares about the heart, he cares about WHO you are not WHAT you are. He cares about EVERYONE in this life, EVERYONE on this earth. Black or White, Skinny or Fat, Blonde or Brunette, Male or Female... HE DIGS YOU. so much more then you will ever know or comprehend. If you get nothing from this, but you read it and dont know what im talking about...
Rest in the arms of God. Sit in the lap of his Love, Rest in his open Embrace. Let him in, let him Love you, let him show you life with him. Let him be the one to heal you of your past failures and rebirth the dreams inside of you. Let him be the one to hold you when you cry. let him be the one that hears your heart desires. He’s waiting for you, he’s never stopped waiting. You are his, created for greatness. You belong to him, sealed with his stamp of approval JUST AS YOU ARE. Come home.

Have a beautiful day.Betty-Rose